Fallen Angel
by Dani Meows
Summary: Newmoon Au: The ninety pound, pale and frail figure lying in the hospital bed in the mental ward in Fork's hospital, was such a tragic figure. Isabella wasn't even 19 years old but she was dying of a broken heart. Today she was to have visitors.
1. Tragedy

**Author's Notes: Now that I've gotten several chapters hand written, it's time to start posting this dramatic piece.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction would I?**

**Thank you: To all who have reviewed this story, or placed it or me on your favorites and alerts lists. It really means a lot to me.**

**Extra special thank you to: **LilythxCullen **for her awesome and speedy beta job.**

**Fallen Angel**

**Chapter One: Tragedy **

The ninety pound, pale and frail figure lying in the hospital bed in the mental ward in Forks Hospital, was such a tragic figure, the nurse, Anne, thought as she tended to the girl. Such a tragedy; Isabella wasn't even 19 years old, but she was dying. Of a broken heart, if gossip was to be believed.

Her screams and nightmares were the only ways you could hear her voice, because when she was conscious, she just lay there as if she was already dead. When she was asleep, however, she'd scream out for an Edward, begging him not to leave her, screaming over and over again, "Don't leave me!" Some nights she'd call for an Alice, or an Emmett or an Esme, or a Jasper or a Carlisle, but without fail, every night she'd call out for Edward.

The chief didn't visit any longer; he couldn't take staring into the dead, dark eyes of his only daughter. He'd shown the nurses a picture of what she'd looked like before _t__hat boy_ had shattered her, and they'd been stunned at how different she'd looked with bright eyes and a big smile. That happy little girl was long gone. What remained was a shell, a tragic echo of a girl.

She was dying. The feeding tubes and wires didn't seem able to maintain her life any longer; her will to live had long ago been used up. There were no diseases torturing her pale frame, but a disease of the mind.

Today, she was to have visitors for the first time in a month and a half, which is why Anne was taking special care, trying to make the shell of a girl look as uplifting as possible. Seeing a loved one in here on the hopeless ward was hard enough without them seeing just how bleak the patients usually looked. An Alice and a Jasper were coming to visit her at noon today, and she hoped that they were the ones Bella would cry for at night.

A girl with spiky, inky black hair with a bleak expression was holding onto the hand of a blond boy as they walked up to the head nurse, who was now sitting at her desk.

"We're here to see Bella Swan," they said in unison, both of them looking utterly devastated. It was always tough for the visitors to see the patients here in the hopeless section of the ward.

Anne led them to her room, feeling a slight bit of hope that perhaps these two were two of _the ones_ the girl's mind screamed for at night; that maybe the two teens could give the dying girl some peace before she died.

"Oh, Bella!" she heard the girl exclaim before the door closed.

Alice cradled the girl that had been her best friend and almost sister as grief and regret speared through her. She'd told Edward that he shouldn't do it, that they shouldn't leave! She'd begged him, even gotten down on her knees and pleaded with him to at least let her stay to take the edge off of Bella's pain. Edward had insisted that they all leave, that they give her a clean break with no reminders of them at all. It had been the worst fight that they'd ever had, and it had lasted hours. In the end she'd given in, seeing the devastation on her brother's face, and knowing that he was ripping his own heart out doing what he thought was right.

She cursed her sight; she hadn't seen what was happening with Bella sooner. She'd promised not to go looking into Bella's future. Then, the vision had forced its way through her mind: Bella dying, alone in this hospital, Edward's name on her lips as her heart stopped. If only she'd looked, despite promising not to. If only she'd been there for her friend.

Bella looked so frail and broken as Alice held her. Then Bella gasped and her eyes went wide with shock; a small spark of life lit her eyes.

"Alice! Are you really here?" Her arms clung to Alice weakly; Alice was barely able to feel any pressure on her at all.

"I'm really here, Bella. So is Jasper," she said, soothingly.

Bella began to sob against her, her body shaking with the force of her tears.

"You never said goodbye. He said he didn't love me anymore; that I'd just been a distraction! But you left, too… without a goodbye. I missed you and I'm angry and I'm dying because there is nothing left to live for," she said through her sobs, as Alice rocked her back and forth, trying to get her to quiet.

Her words were like having acid poured into her soul; she should have ignored Edward and been there for Bella. It was too late now the damage was done but...

She had to save Bella. "Bella, Jazz and I are going to leave, now. But we'll be back in one hour to take you with us."

She closed her eyes, and allowed the vision to come: they'd kidnap Bella, bite her and she'd wake up in three days. She would be her sister forever. Edward would come back, Bella would heal and the family would be reunited.

"Hold on for one hour, sweetie, okay?" Alice pleaded, stroking Bella's hair once more before leaving with Jasper.

Once they were gone, Bella drifted off into a dreamless sleep. She hoped that they kept their promise and came back. She'd rather see Edward before she died, but getting to see Alice again was glorious.

An hour later, they slipped back into the hospital with ease, through Bella's sixth story window after Jasper disabled the alarm. Not that the hospital needed to restrain Bella, who very rarely came out of her world to notice her surroundings, anyways. They took her, carrying her into their car, quickly, with Jasper driving as fast as he could to their house in Alaska.

Alice bit her. The blood was glorious, but Alice was able to stop herself from draining Bella dry. She wouldn't kill her sister.

Bella didn't scream, nor did she react at all as the venom worked its way through her. Jasper said that she felt nothing, that she was still catatonic. They made it to the house in record time. Alice called the rest of the family home, except for Edward.

She knew that Edward wouldn't pick up the phone for her, but he would pick it up for Esme. Alice stayed by Bella's side, talking to her, telling her how much she meant to Alice and what they would do together, now that Alice had made sure that Bella would be her sister forever.

She saw Edward arriving, and told Jasper to watch Bella while she went out to talk to him. Brother and sister were about to have the worst fight they'd ever had, even though most of it would take place in the mind.

"How could you!" Edward roared as his angry snarls echoed throughout the dark night. Alice said nothing but pushed first her vision and then her visit to Bella through her mind.

Edward's anger deflated and turned inward. _It was his fault._ He wanted to run, either to Bella or away from her; he didn't know which. He ran towards her side, and stood, looking at the damage he'd caused.

She was so light and fragile looking. She was skinnier; her eyes had dark circles under them. She looked dull and listless as she laid there. She wasn't screaming although she should have been. He didn't know whether to feel relieved by her lack of sensation during the change, or worried that Bella's mind was so far out of it that even the change wouldn't bring her back.

He took her hand; it was cooling and slowly lowering to his temperature. He pressed it to his cheek. His Bella, his only love. He'd been such a fool, and she'd paid the price. His pain had been nothing compared to hers. He'd shattered the only woman he'd ever loved. If he'd been a fiend before, he was now the blackest fiend in existence. He didn't deserve happiness.

Her heart seemed to be slowing rapidly. Should she be dying even though it had only been one day? He didn't know what to do. He deserved death. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, but he knew that he'd be begging her for it once she woke up, anyways.

Would her mind be back to the way it used to be before she'd been broken, when the change was finished?

The rest of the family filed in not long afterwards, but Edward didn't pay any attention to them or their thoughts. His mind was on the only woman he'd ever loved.

"Oh. Bella," he whispered as anguish threatened to drag him under. Jasper had attempted to send a calming wave earlier, but Edward felt that he deserved every second of the pain he felt now. "Forgive me. I was an idiot to think that leaving you was the best thing that I could do for you. _I love you._ I lied when I said I didn't. I've always loved you, and I always will. I just wanted you to have a normal life."

Her heartbeat slowed down even further and then let out one last beat before stopping forever. Her skin grew colder and harder. He could see the changes her body had undergone and he let out a bitter laugh. He'd never wanted her to be like him, and in his desire to spare her this fate, he'd driven her almost directly to it.

He began to doubt whether he had the right to be there at all when she woke up. He'd been the one who'd hurt her.

_Would she understand? Would she forgive him? Did she still love him? Would she believe that he still loved her? _ The questions weighed heavily on his mind as he let go of her hand; she'd wake up any second, and he didn't want to presume that he had any right to touch her. He didn't deserve happiness, but she did. He would do whatever it took to make her happy, even if it meant removing himself from her presence for eternity.

_I love you,_ he thought as he waited for her to open her eyes, and either restore happiness to his heart or crush it forever.


	2. Awakenings

**Title: Fallen Angel**

**Author: dani meows**

**Author's Notes: Angsty... I need to write some purifying fluff next.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, and I make no money off of this little piece of writing.**

**Thanks to: ****LilythxCullen for the beta job, and to everyone who's reviewed or added this story to their favorites pages! **

**Fallen Angel: Chapter Two: Awakenings**

Bella opened her eyes and stared at everything. She didn't make a sound as she observed the people looking at her, and the way everything seemed vivid, brighter than ever before. It was like the world had always been dim before, but now her eyes could see everything clearer, with more focus than ever before.

The faces looking at her with concerned, curious expressions looked familiar; did she know them from somewhere?

"Bella?" the girl with short inky black hair asked in an excited tone. She knew that face. Alice, it was Alice. She began to remember things now as Alice launched herself full force at her friend, shoving her back down onto the mattress.

Bella and Alice hugged for a long time as Alice explained what had happened in a fast voice. The painful memories that her mind had suppressed came rushing back, almost too much pain at once for her mind to handle. Bella began to cry, dry sobs racking her frame as she clung to Alice.

Edward flinched at the sound of Bella's pain and couldn't bare to watch her like that any longer; unable to take her pain, he fled the room like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels.

Alice continued to whisper soothing words and rubbed her friend's back as months of sorrow made its way out of her system. She knew that Bella would be fine.

_'Edward! Get back here!_' she screamed out in her head, '_she thinks you hate her!_' Silence was the only response, and he didn't come back. Jasper was trying to calm Bella's raging emotions, but he was being assaulted by to many emotions at once to control the tempest of them. He was also of the belief that she really needed to work this out… without his input. She'd suppressed her emotions for so long, that if she didn't release them all now, she'd never heal.

Rubbing his new sister's back, feeling a certain amount of delight that he could touch and get close to the girl he'd regarded as a little sister without hurting her, he told them he'd be back in a little while.

He had a brother to hunt down and knock some sense into. After living with someone for so long, it was easy to find them, even when they were running. After a while, it became even easier for Jasper to hunt down Edward because he could feel the guilt, pain, doubt and love that he was radiating. As he got closer, still screaming in his head for his brother to stop, he could hear his dry sobs as he ran through the woods.

Like most conversations with Edward, it was a conversation that was half mental. When Edward was upset, he didn't wait for you to voice what you wanted to say, but would just pull it from your thoughts.

_She thinks you hate her__ you know._

"I don't know what to do," Edward said, looking at him.

_She just needs to get months worth of suppressed emotion out of her __system__She__ was purging all that she'd __felt,__because she__ kept__ it __locked up inside in order to keep herself from breaking all the way down. When it comes to emotion, trust me__--__ I know. I'm not saying it will be easy, she will __probably__ have trust issues__ and need reassurance of your love for a while__…__ but if you don't come back now, you will likely not have another to chance to earn her __forgiveness__You__ still have her love now__ but it could soon turn to hate._

Edward said nothing, but Jasper could feel some of the pain that he'd been radiating into to determination.

_Don't stay lost in your thoughts __too__ long, brother._

Jasper turned back to leave for the house once more; he didn't want to take the chance that Bella needed him to calm the storm, in case he was wrong, and it did turn to madness.

"Jasper, thank you," Edward said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Turning, they both made their way back to the house; Edward launched himself up the stairs and back towards his mate.

He was being selfish again, he needed to stop focusing on himself, but focus on her and her needs. When would he learn to put her first? So many years of being alone had definitely left him unprepared for a relationship.

Her sobs had quieted as she talked to Alice. Her words were worse than any torture he'd ever faced in his life. "He hates me for this doesn't he? He told me that he didn't want me anymore, and that I was nothing but a distraction. He has to hate me now, for forcing myself back into your life."

He could feel the rage in Alice's thoughts, in Carlisle's thoughts, in Esme's thoughts. Emmett was past rage and was vowing to hunt him down and beat him senseless if he didn't make his little sister feel better. Rosalie's thoughts shocked him: she was angry at him for hurting Bella so thoroughly when she'd never liked Bella in the first place!

He opened the door, Jasper behind him, sending him enough confidence to face his mate. She didn't look at him, she was still crying in Alice's arms. Her every tearless cry was like a burning acid; it was like enduring an eternity of the pain he'd felt while being changed in 1918. He wrapped his arms around Bella, pulling her from Alice to his arms.

Jasper flinched and curled into him as a wave of pain, confusion, doubt, shame and love radiated off of the two. Alice rubbed Bella's back once more and then went to her husband. Then, she dragged him out of the room. He needed to be away from Bella and Edward's emotions for a while, and she'd only be a fast run away if her visions alerted her to anything gone wrong. She hoped that this time the two soul mates had finally gotten it together. If they w_ere_ back together, she could go back to planning the wedding that she'd been planning almost since the first time they'd met each other in Biology.

Edward felt happiness war with his sorrow as he held her in his arms. How he'd longed every day and every long night since he'd left her on that awful day to hold her in his arms once more. Now she was there. Unless she wanted him to, he'd never let her out of his arms again. She still smelled wonderful: a blend of freesias and strawberries, only now she didn't cause the venom to pool in the back of his throat. He knew that she was confused, and that he had to speak soon, but he just wanted to hold her, to memorize the feel of her, the smell of her. When she rejected him, he could always have those memories to draw on.

"Forgive me, I lied. I've always loved you... I just thought-"

She interrupted him by putting a finger on his lips. He was vaguely aware of his family leaving them alone as angst ripped him into tiny little pieces. She wouldn't let him finish. She would never forgive him. His soul mate hated him. He wanted to curl up and die.

She removed her finger and gazed into his black eyes, which were full of the pain and despair that he felt. Her crimson eyes were loving and sparkling, her earlier sorrow and confusion replaced by his words.

He felt hope stirring within; with her face looking showing that surely he wasn't being rejected.

"Words lie," she whispered as she kissed him. Unlike the chaste kisses that they'd shared before, this kiss was full of long suppressed longing, love, and forgiveness. Edward felt like he was drowning in her love. It was almost like he could see into her soul while she gazed into his. Through the kiss they exchanged reassurances that they were both here and whole, and that their love was still intact, still incredible. Suddenly all of those months of separation didn't matter anymore. The pain began to be healed by the reaffirmation of their love.

She wasn't whole yet, and probably wouldn't be for some time. But he was here and real. He loved her.

For now, he loved her. She was certain that he would stay, that it wasn't guilt at the state that she'd been in before being turned that made him love her. But she would enjoy his presence for as long as he blessed her with it.

Seeming to read her thoughts, he held her tighter, as both of them worked on maintaining unnecessary breaths, "I'm not leaving."

She tried to keep the doubt out of her voice when she whispered, "I'll try to believe in that for now."

She didn't succeed.


End file.
